Skip to main content

BODY

The first picture was taken a year ago. My body had started reacting to building air quality (CIRS), and that triggered several major life changes that people were very rude about (definitely Smashers 🙄). I had daily terrifying symptoms from CIRS. I was severely depressed and at this point had lost 15lbs in two weeks. My muscles were shockingly atrophied and I remember thinking my arms were going to fall off while holding the vegetables.


A common thing people have said to me during my illness years is, “Well, you look great!” I think it’s maybe a reactionary phrase people use when they are confronted with an illness they can’t see clear indicators of and they want to add some positive encouragement but have no clue what else to say. (I think it’s also an indicator of what our society says we’re supposed to look like in order to “look great”. Hello people, I did NOT look great last summer, I looked like I’d narrowly escaped Auschwitz 🙄.)

I’ve never struggled with the stereotypical body image issues, but since having health challenges I’ve struggled to value and appreciate my body when it doesn’t work the way I think it should. Many times in a flare, I catch myself thinking, “I HATE my body!” because it traps me in bed and keeps me from running winding hills through the woods or hiking a mountain with friends... and sometimes even from doing the simple daily-ness of laundry and dishes.

I’m learning to appreciate and care for my body with kindness. I’m learning to appreciate what my body CAN do, and how much more I truly experience when life has to be enjoyed at a slower pace. I’m learning how my body and soul work in concert, and how when I neglect one the other suffers.

The second picture was taken this summer. I’m not depressed. I’ve worked hard to address emotional baggage I’ve carried around my whole life. I’ve diligently taken all my herbs and supplements and eaten well. I’ve rested when I needed it. I’ve moved my body even if it’s nothing impressive. In this picture, I actually DO look good- not because I meet a cultural standard but because my body is well cared for and my soul is at rest. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

More Funnies.

To continue the "laugh at Moriah" post from like 2011... I went to DC with my college roomie this last summer. We were taking the train in and coming back after dark, and I reasoned that taking my pocket knife (read: 4 inch blade) was a logical step. Museum security checkpoints, however didn't line up with my reasoning. I was told to "get rid of it" if I wanted to come in. So, for the next 4 museums we visited, we took a stroll through the bushes before and after to hide and retrieve my knife. At the end of the day, we headed home. With the knife. Take that, Smithsonian security. Every fall, our school does the TP Game (yeah, my school is awesome). First game of the season, and when we score the first basket, we incur a technical foul by throwing rolls of [clean] toilet paper on the court. Well, the students living off campus usually help themselves to a few rolls of school provided game TP for their houses. We lived off campus, but instead of walking out w...

Check Yo' Facts, People

The number of Christians spewing Rachel Scott's father's speech after Columbine all over Facebook and via email is unbelieveable. Sure, it applies to the Newton shooting, but guess what??! Contrary to popular opinion, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE NEWTON SHOOTING. He made that speech after the Colombine shooting in 1999. (Link above takes you to the house.gov record of the speech) Christians, please check your facts before you present heresay as truth! I remember one time in high school everybody was passing around a chain email that said Mars was the closest to earth it would ever be, and to go look at the stars on a particular night to see it. Well, without checking our facts, we went with some friends to the observatory at the local university to view the sights. When we asked about Mars, the professor was like, "uhh, did you get an email?? Because Mars is as far away from earth as possible right now..." It pays to do your homework, people. Did we believe any of the ...

The Still, Small Voice

Like any good human, I'm waiting for the earthquake that determines my next move in life. I'm waiting for the hurricane, or the volcano, or the atomic bomb. Something obvious that will tell me what to do. You're not being faithful in the little things. I was driving down the road on my way to work, whining to God about why I had to be doing this, why I couldn't move somewhere new, do something new, try something exciting. Then came the still small voice. You're not being faithful in the little things. And it was gone. It wasn't the flowery message we so often pass around of God has great things for you, just wait, it will come, it will be better than you could imagine... It was you're not being faithful . Ouch. Words never sting so much as when you know, no question, they're true. The time I waste. The half-hearted job I do on certain tasks. The avoiding of certain people. The fact I'm sitting here flipping between Facebook and ty...