Healing Self-Talk

I used to run 3-4 miles no sweat. Today I ran .5 miles and I’m currently on the floor in pain 😂. How times have changed lol.

But you know how I know the whole me is healing? Today my first thought wasn’t “wow you’re so lame, remember when you ran a 5k three times a week 🙄”. My first thought was “DUDE you just ran a half mile! You’re totally getting better!”

My physical self may not be (and may never be) what it used to be, but the fact that my first reaction wasn’t a criticism of myself means the rest of me is making great progress.

Celebrate your accomplishments today, no “even ifs”, no “compared toos”. ♥️ 🎉

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The Still, Small Voice

Like any good human, I'm waiting for the earthquake that determines my next move in life. I'm waiting for the hurricane, or the volcano, or the atomic bomb. Something obvious that will tell me what to do. You're not being faithful in the little things. I was driving down the road on my way to work, whining to God about why I had to be doing this, why I couldn't move somewhere new, do something new, try something exciting. Then came the still small voice. You're not being faithful in the little things. And it was gone. It wasn't the flowery message we so often pass around of God has great things for you, just wait, it will come, it will be better than you could imagine... It was you're not being faithful . Ouch. Words never sting so much as when you know, no question, they're true. The time I waste. The half-hearted job I do on certain tasks. The avoiding of certain people. The fact I'm sitting here flipping between Facebook and ty...

Maybe It's Not So Bad....

So apparently I don't learn my lessons very well. I was going back through my recent posts, and they were about thankfulness and giving God control of my life. This past week, I've been bombarded with small and medium sized things that require a reaction from me. And my reactions haven't been very good. Instead of looking for ways that God can use the situation, I've been complaining. A lot. Yesterday, when yet another thing had to be dealt with, I was reminded of Paul. Here I am, worried about how to fix my truck and if I can get all my homework done in time. There's Paul, rejoicing because he GETS to suffer for Christ. And he doesn't just have a lot of homework. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits...

This Present Darkness

Everywhere I turn, normal little things stand as reminders of what I can't do and what I've lost. Some days, I don't know how to put words to the feelings and so the tears come. And they don't stop. I don't know how to grieve the loss of hopes and dreams. To grieve the loss of just doing normal things. Life is hard right now. There's not one thing in my life right now that is simple or easy. Even the good things are hard and tainted with a touch of complication or fear. I've tried and tried to process life. To come to a conclusion. To resolve and move on. Every time I think I've conquered it, the tears come the next moment. But I'm learning. I'm learning that spiritual oppression is real and Satan hates me and wants me to quit. I'm learning to trust God because I've done everything I know how and it's not working. I'm learning (very slowly) to accept help and care from others as an extension of God's grace to me. I'm ...

Notes to My Siblings

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