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God Does Speak. I Just Don't Hear.

God has been silent lately. Scratch that. I've been deaf lately. I've been thoroughly discontent with where I am in life, and have been (nearly frantically) searching for a new place, a new job, the next thing, a new adventure... anything, really, so long as it's different. I didn't have peace about where I am, but I also didn't have peace about anything that I looked into. And quite frankly, I didn't find much to actually look into if I wanted to like, eat and stuff.

After several months of frustration and stress, I'm finally getting it. I'm supposed to be here for another indefinite amount of time. For what reason, I'm not sure yet. But I have peace.

While I've been saying "HELLOOOOOO, GOD, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE DOING? WHY AREN'T YOU TALKING TO ME? REMEMBER ME???", He's been saying "keep doing what you're doing". I just don't pay attention.

Hint #1: Not finding anything that looked interesting or bearable.

Hint #2: Having no peace about anything that my head said, even for a brief second "hmm, that might be interesting".

Hint #3: Not getting responses from anything I applied to/ inquired about OR getting "no"s.

Hint #4: Daily Bible readings addressing exactly what my complaints were and how I should properly deal with them, and group Bible studies on sacrifice, perseverance, etc. (like, two weeks worth of this...)

Hint #5: Several older, Godly women making comments about being faithful in the here and now, serving God in the little things, etc. Most of them have no idea about what I've been thinking or doing. One of them I'd never met before.

Hint #6: Peace that passes understanding that I'm supposed to be here for now. Being supposed to be here could change next week, but for now, that's what's up.

Yep, that's me. Dense. Very dense. Maybe next time instead of asking why God's not speaking, I should be asking why I'm not listening....
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