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ABUNDANCE.

"...out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

I often neglect my heart. I work hard to make sure what comes out of me is right and acceptable, and I catch myself feeling frustrated when I make the same harsh comments or think the same bad thoughts over and over again. And so I try harder to modify my behavior and "do better". And I fail.

I'm trying to catch myself when I start slapping my own hand for slipping up and instead trying to notice what I'm feeling. Therapy is teaching me to trace my feelings back to my secret places and ask why I'm feeling that way. Jesus is teaching me to bring the deep hurts and pains at the roots of those feelings to him and let him carry them for me.

Giving up hurts is hard. Changing ingrained beliefs and behaviors seems nearly impossible sometimes. But I'm slowly learning that when I do give Jesus my hurt and pain, my insides feel lighter and brighter. And my words and actions follow, and they become life-giving instead of life-draining.

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