ENOUGH.

There’s nothing like being knocked flat on your back for no apparent reason to get the message across: you don’t have enough. You aren’t enough. You can never do enough. .
We were supposed to move this weekend but it got delayed due to a flare. I’ve spent the last two days in trying to rest, my massive to-do-do list scrolling through my mind, screaming that I’m a failure, my body numb with exhaustion. The stress keeps rising and rising, telling me I’ll never get it all done, especially not now.

I’ve always struggled with doing and doing and never feeling like it’s enough.... so much so that I tattooed “not by works, only grace” in my shoulder to remind myself that:

I can never be enough. I can never do enough. Jesus is the only one who is enough. And in his incomprehensible goodness, he shares his infinite enoughness with me, so that I am made to be enough by no merit of my own.

In my head, I know it is true: Jesus has made me enough. In my heart, I struggle. Am I a good enough friend if I keep cancelling? Am I a good enough wife if we have to get takeout for dinner?

Then I am reminded of the words burned into my shoulder: what I can do, even on my best day, is inconsequential to what Christ has already done.

Not by works, only grace.