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Fathers to the Fatherless

It was an ordinary Wednesday night at AWANA. All my little Sparkie boys were filing in, the usual banter and craziness that usually accompanies 1st and 2nd grade boys filling the room. Everything was normal, except one of my little guys seemed out of sorts. Usually happy and sweet, Tim* was sullen and cross. In the weeks that followed, his attitude continued, and some of the younger boys would complain that he hit them, or mouthed off at them, which was not characteristic of Tim. Eventually, I heard that his dad had left several weeks earlier- the same time his demeanor took a nose dive.

I could google a bunch of statistics about fatherless homes and crime rates, repeated patterns, etc, but to some extent, I think we all realize that fatherlessness causes problems. Girls look for the love they should have had from their fathers in other men. Boys look for the guidance and attention their father should have given them in other men.

I heard of a former gang member once who, after he became a Christian, said that the gang did a much better job of taking care of each other and being a family than the church did. If someone didn't have a father, one of the other men in the gang took him in and mentored him and looked out for him. People, when a gang one-ups the church at something the church is supposed to be the best at, that's not good.

I can say with 98% confidence that I do not currently know one Christian man who is intentionally and consistently building into the life of a boy who lacks a positive father figure in his life. Guys, where are you? Who is going to teach these boys how to be men? If all they know about being a dad is that you should be abusive and/or leave, why should they be any different when they have a family?

A friend and I were discussing the importance of godly men taking fatherless boys under their wings and guiding and encouraging them- showing them what being a man is all about-- and about how we as girls can't do it. Every week, I watched Tim slip a little further from his happy and considerate self and my heart ached for him. I wanted to take him for ice cream. To kick a ball around the soccer field with him. But aside from it being inappropriate for me to do those things with him, it wasn't what he needed. He needed a man to let him know he was important... and to show him what it meant to be a real man.

Guys, find a boy. Take him fishing. Help him with homework. Show him how to be a man. Show him Christ.


*Name change
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