Notes to My Siblings

I'm a bit nervous about writing this because there's always a chance I'll have to eat my words. But that's never stopped me before (even though it always tastes nasty), so here it is. According to the general definition, I would be considered in the 99%.  I have less than $1000 to my name, I'm $15,000 in debt (yay college), I work three jobs and am going to school full time.  Yeah, it's a lot of work, but I'm not complaining (that much...).  This semester has been an experiment in how little you can live on.  I pay rent, utilities, gas and food on 10 hours per week at minimum wage.  God's been faithful-- there have been a few times when I've wondered how I would pay for gas and a day later someone would send me a $20 with a note that they were thinking of me.  No, I'm not paying medical or car insurance, I'm not making large payments on my college loans, and I have roommates, but it's amazing how little you can live decently on.  [Her

Lately I've been struggling with a proper attitude towards my "pouring out" activities.  I'm tired and burnt out, and I usually end up doing things with the thought in the back of my mind of "I could be doing homework right now... I could be doing laundry right now... I could be studying for a CLEP test right now."  Which takes my focus off of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. What's my problem?  Well, it's a funny thing.  If you stop spending time with God, you stop liking His stuff.  It becomes a chore that you do because responsibility is your top trait and you can't back out of something without a really good excuse (like, getting hit by a Mac truck and being hospitalized for a month might count.  Not much else).  True story.  So, beginning  yesterday, I'm getting up at 6:15 every morning and spending some quality quiet time with God before I go running.  If I don't do it then, it's too easy to skip.  God doesn't

I'm a pro at being distracted. I'm supposed to be writing a book report (I thought those were for, like, middle school...apparently not), and I am writing it. It's because of the book that I'm chasing the squirrel (UP? Remember the dog? Whatever.) to write this. The book I'm reading is The Culture Code by Clotaire Rapaille. It's about the unconscious descriptors and causes we assign to things in our culture.  For example, the American culture code for "car" is "identity", while the German culture code for "car" is "engineering".  Americans are more concerned with how the car makes them look than with how it's built. I just got to the chapter on Money and Work. According to Rapaille, the code for "work" is "who you are".  Sadly, I think he's right on.  How many people find their identity in what they do, even if they don't like it?  How often do we make snap judgments based what their li

I've sat down to write a blog post 6 or 8 times in the past month, but I can never complete a concept. There have been several themes woven throughout my summer, but I think I'm still learning and growing through them and so I don't have a complete ending for them yet. Just stories and the "moral" I'm drawing from the right now. If you get detached from the vine, you will wither. Yeah, I know. No duh. But it's really true. Being home with a random schedule makes it much harder to be consistent in spending time with God. Basically, I've failed at being consistent this summer. If the truth were to be known. The past few weeks, I've been trying harder to more consistently spend time with God. And in the past week, I've had several spiritual conversations with co-workers, which is not something that has naturally come up before. Moral: If you are attached to the vine, He will shine through you clearly. One step at a time. This one has occur

I've been reading Galatians lately in my personal Bible study. I'm not to chapter 6 yet, but in my fidgety manner, I jumped ahead a little. Verses 7-9 jumped out at me. Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:7-9 I like my job. I like the people I work with. However, it is not a Christian environment. It's not necessarily a hostile environment, but language and ideas and lifestyles that do not line up with God's Word abound. Some days when I "just don't get to" my Bible study I start to get a tolerant mindset towards these negative influences. I get tired of "good" and start to wonder just how bad this or that can be. Then I get this little prick and I re

This post has nothing to do with much of anything, except kill some time while waiting for my plane and recalling some funny memories from the past few years. They are not in chronological order. Enjoy! My then-friend (now roommate) and I were out taking pictures for a photography class. A power company truck drove by, and the guy riding shotgun leaned out the window and yelled "CHEESE!" If only one of us had thought fast enough to whip around and take his picture.... My roommate freshman year and I decided to go running at the gym on Easter Sunday night. Well, the gym was closed (which we discovered only after walking over there in the pouring rain), so we ran through the halls, and then did the ultimate four minute workout found on YouTube (of which we could only do about two minutes of before our muscles gave out). Cori had a head of lettuce left over from a dinner, and, being cheap college students, we went to Harp's to return it. The manager thought we were a l

It's consuming. Here we are, last day of classes with four days of finals to go, and I'm consumed with homework. I have no time for people. I HATE IT!!! I like people. I like being with people, doing things with people, talking with people, and sharing real life with people. When I'm spending hours on homework, people have to get skipped. You want to do something with me? Well, I have an opening between 4:37 and 4:52. Would that work for you? No? Ok, how about three weeks from next Tuesday at 12:57? Oh, you have class then? Well, you'll have to go on my waiting list. If a Marketing Plan cancels, I'll let you know. That's basically been my whole semester. As frustrating as it has been, I've learned from it. Not necessarily applied what I've learned, but I have learned. A family friend who works for Campus Crusade in Florida says it well in one of his blog posts: "Everybody has 168 hours each week... The schedule is in your hands. How will you use yo

So apparently I don't learn my lessons very well. I was going back through my recent posts, and they were about thankfulness and giving God control of my life. This past week, I've been bombarded with small and medium sized things that require a reaction from me. And my reactions haven't been very good. Instead of looking for ways that God can use the situation, I've been complaining. A lot. Yesterday, when yet another thing had to be dealt with, I was reminded of Paul. Here I am, worried about how to fix my truck and if I can get all my homework done in time. There's Paul, rejoicing because he GETS to suffer for Christ. And he doesn't just have a lot of homework. Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was pelted with stones, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea, I have been constantly on the move. I have been in danger from rivers, in danger from bandits

I think the overarching lesson of college is that no matter how much I want to be in control of my life and know what's going on, I cannot and should not be. I like to have a plan. One of my friends hinted this past week that I might be type A.... Which I vigorously denied. But, uh, yeah. You were right. I'm type A. I would love to have a schedule for my life. Even if it listed bad stuff. Then I would know it was coming and could prepare for it. But that's not how God works. Generally, things get thrown at us with no warning. And generally, the response that makes the most sense is not the response God asks for. God asks us to do things that make no sense to us or those around us and trust Him for the results. Hebrews chapter 11, the "Faith Hall of Fame", lists so many people who were put in a situation and asked to respond in a way that didn't make sense in the moment. Abel. Enoch. Noah. Abraham. Jacob. Joseph. Moses. Rahab. Gideon. Samuel. Even though what t

Several times this past week, I found myself telling God that I didn't have time for Him. Not in so many words, but definitely by my actions. He doesn't scream "Deadline!" and personal devotions don't impact my GPA. In the short run, at least. As my mom said the other day, "the important things are seldom urgent, and the urgent things are seldom important." That summarizes my week. Everything with a deadline of the next morning got done (barely!), but everything that didn't have a deadline just got skipped. And since God didn't have a deadline, well.... He definitely got skipped. In light of another very, very busy week ahead, I've been getting this gentle prod to re-prioritize my life. I need to make the important things urgent, and let the urgent things be unimportant. Yeah, bombing the Graphic Design presentation probably isn't the best idea, but 5 years from now, who's going to remember it but me? In the short run, my GPA isn'