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Lyme and Grace

I’ve tried to not be super vocal in my daily life about my illness except when it comes down to practical things like “I can’t eat that” and “I can’t go there”, mostly because I don’t want my identity to become wrapped up in being sick and dealing with these issues... or so I’ve told myself. But maybe it’s more about pride and trying to pretend I’m something I’m not... trying to pretend I’m far from weak and that I have everything under control when really I do not and cannot.

Like it or not, it IS part of what I am, and it has shaped who I have become. Suffering has its benefits, and I do not say this lightly: The physical pain I experience daily would have been major cause for alarm 4 years ago. Now, it’s so normal I notice when I’m NOT in pain. The emotional pain of loss caused by health challenges is felt just as keenly. Suffering has caused me to... ⠀⠀
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1. KNOW GRACE. I did not understand the concept of grace until all of my physical and mental abilities were stripped away from me and I had to wrestle with wondering if God still loved me when I couldn’t do anything for him. Grace says YES he does.

2. LONG FOR THE NEW HEAVEN AND NEW EARTH. When everything was going well, I didn’t fully grasp the consequences of sin or how broken this world is. Now I have a constant reminder in my body that this world is a broken, broken place and I truly long for the day when he will restore and make all things right.

3. IDENTIFY WITH THE SUFFERING OF OTHERS. A dear friend texted 2 Corinthians 1:4 to me the other day and it was such a good reminder: “...the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God...” The people who have comforted me the most have been those who have experienced great suffering themselves. God does not allow things to happen for anything less than his glory. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Would I gladly give up my struggles for a healthy body? DUH. But on some level, I am thankful for this journey, lonely and frustrating as it is sometimes, because through it I know Christ more.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 
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