Skip to main content

Still, Small Ways

When I first started having health challenges, one of the original challenges was severe claustrophobia and crowd anxiety. I mean, I used to be the girl who spoke practically no Spanish, flew to the Dominican in the middle of the night, cleared customs and took a taxi an hour ride to a missionary’s house by herself, no sweat. But when Lyme happened, if someone so much as got in line behind me at the grocery store, I had a panic attack because it was too crowded and I felt trapped. Sheesh. I went nowhere but work and home for a very long time.

I thought I was reasonably over my fear of the grocery store, but lately it’s circled back around to freak me out. Lines. Waiting. Crowds. Being at other people’s mercy. I get sick to my stomach just knowing I have to go. (I know, it’s dumb. But tell my body that because it says it’s a VERY REAL DANGER RUN RUN RUN 🙄.)

While trying to hype myself up to make the next grocery run, I realized... so far, I have not had to stand in more than a reasonable checkout line throughout this whole COVID thing. I’ve never had to wait to get in anywhere, and I’ve never been stuck in a crowd. I could attribute that to my great skills of picking the best time to go, but really, I think it just amounts to Jesus loves me and He knows I can’t deal.

I usually get so annoyed when people attribute every. little. thing. to God being so great, because so much of my adult life has been spent feeling like Martha, saying “Lord, if you had only been here, x wouldn’t have happened. Where the heck are You?” And the answer I get is no lines at the grocery store. Why the big things go seemingly unanswered I’ll never know, but for now I’ll hold on to all the little ways He lets me know He’s there. Like no lines at the grocery store.

What’s a still, small way God’s let you know He’s got you lately?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Remember & Expect

As I’ve been thinking about what I want my focus to be this next year, the two words that come to mind are remember and expect. Currently, I don’t have a great relationship with those words. When your whole life (ok that’s a LITTLE dramatic but sometimes it sure feels that way can I get an amen 😫) seems like it’s been one. thing. after. another, it’s easy to get to a place where you can only remember the hard and you start to expect that the rest of life will continue to suck. You become apathetic. Cynical. And a delightful ray of sunshine to be around 🙄. I was reading Deuteronomy 8, in which Moses reminds the Israelites what God did for them in the forty years since leaving Egypt- forty years that, from a human point of view, seemed like a pointless, dead-end waste of time. It was miserable. It made no sense. And yet, God was in the details: they did not lack anything they needed. Moses also reminded them to expect what God had promised them, even though at that moment they were sti...

More Funnies.

To continue the "laugh at Moriah" post from like 2011... I went to DC with my college roomie this last summer. We were taking the train in and coming back after dark, and I reasoned that taking my pocket knife (read: 4 inch blade) was a logical step. Museum security checkpoints, however didn't line up with my reasoning. I was told to "get rid of it" if I wanted to come in. So, for the next 4 museums we visited, we took a stroll through the bushes before and after to hide and retrieve my knife. At the end of the day, we headed home. With the knife. Take that, Smithsonian security. Every fall, our school does the TP Game (yeah, my school is awesome). First game of the season, and when we score the first basket, we incur a technical foul by throwing rolls of [clean] toilet paper on the court. Well, the students living off campus usually help themselves to a few rolls of school provided game TP for their houses. We lived off campus, but instead of walking out w...

My Wise Advice

As I'm approaching my quarter-century-versary, I've been thinking about what wisdom I have to offer to the young whippersnappers. I don't have much. But there are a few things I've learned (the hard way is most often my learning style...). Don't make the mistake of thinking someday you'll "arrive" in your faith and have it all together. Stay teachable to the best of your ability. If you feel too confident in what you know about God, the Bible,etc., take a step back and remember how awesomely huge God is. Don't be like the pharisees and assume because you're a generally good person that you've got it figured out. God will make sure something happens that reminds you of that, and it probably won't be a good time. Make life a great big learning experience. Any time you have the opportunity to watch someone do something or try a new thing, take it. Watch the piano tuner. Hold the flashlight for the plumber. Pump the brake pedal for th...