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When You're Benched

I'm a go-er and a do-er. I want to fix things. I want to solve problems. I want to get in the thick of it, come out bruised and bleeding, brush off and go back and do it again.

But I've been benched from all the things I'd love to be doing. For now at least. For a long time, I moped on the sidelines (I occasionally still do). But the bench is not a waste.

For instance, you know all those flowery Bible passages that we use to pretend to comfort ourselves and others when life sucks? Sometimes, in the dark places, they sound rote. Fake. Made up. (And sometimes grossly pulled out of context, but that's another topic)

"'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

 "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." Romans 8:18

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

After a year on the bench (with frequent trips to the infirmary), I can now tell you without a doubt that they're true. It's one thing to say it, another thing to experience it. When head knowledge gets transferred to heart knowing, it's a powerful thing.

Then there's prayer. For a long time (well, for forever basically) I didn't get prayer. I mean, what the heck is the point of me telling God this stuff that He already knows about? Isn't that just wasting my time and His? Now, I'm slowly starting to get it. Prayer really isn't about changing God's mind or getting Him to do something. Prayer is about changing my heart to line up with His. Prayer is about building my faith in Him. When I've pray for things I know are close to the Father's heart, big things have happened, and I trust Him more.

The bench makes me feel helpless. Weak. Insecure. But it is here that His strength is made perfect. When I decrease, He increases. It's hard as heck, but it's also beautiful and freeing.

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