Skip to main content

INVISIBLE

“Look, I spent the weekend crafting fun Christmas decorations! How was your weekend?”

*Well, I spent the weekend listening to a friend’s cries of grief as she walks through the deep losses of chronic pain. Each of my family members are facing huge trials and I currently can’t live in my house because it makes me severely ill and we don’t know what we are going to do. I spent the weekend numb and tired and I’m getting sick which for my body means I’ll probably be knocked out for a while.*

“It was busy but fine.”

It’s been months since I had that interaction, but it stuck with me because our standard protocol for greeting and conversation doesn’t do life justice. We don’t actually get to SEE each other when we summarize things, and so often BOTH our joys and sorrows remain invisible.

If something is great we are hesitant to be too enthusiastic for fear of offending people. If something is hard we are hesitant to be too honest for fear of being Johnny Raincloud.

It’s easy for me to get bull-seeing-red angry with people who make ignorant comments about things I or one of my family members are dealing with. People who don’t even know what hard is shouldn’t be allowed to comment, I think. Then the small voice whispers, “...you used to make comments like that.” Yes, yes I did used to make stupid, ignorant comments about trauma and invisible illness and mental health and cancer. Until I had personal experience.

I want to be a safe person for people to make their invisible pain visible to, whether or not I have walked a similar road. People who have made me feel safe to show the real me to first and foremost listen, and then they react accordingly- rejoice if I’m rejoicing or mourn it I’m mourning. They don’t compare, start talking about themselves or offer ignorant advice.

I have a ways to go, but when I grow up I want to be a safe person who truly sees people.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Note About My Siblings

The Original Siblings These are the "siblings". With the last three of the bunch graduating high school this year, I think it's an appropriate time to introduce them. On the left is Liz. An accounting major, she provides the common sense in the bunch. And thanks to her love of musicals, we all are a little more cultured. Next is Aaron. If you're ever in a jam, he'll be the first to help you out. And he'll make you laugh very hard in the process. Then Steph. Whether you've known her for 10 minutes or 10 years, she'll make you feel like an old friend. And she's often responsible for the-- never mind. It's classified. And Nick. Nick can hack your database or take a perfectly composed picture of a sunrise, depending on the day. And he's also got car ride composition covered. Abby. You'll know Abby's been there by the trail of little children tagging along after her. And she keeps us classy in word and deed. Finally Mica
2 comments
Read more

The Thing I Hate About School

It's consuming. Here we are, last day of classes with four days of finals to go, and I'm consumed with homework. I have no time for people. I HATE IT!!! I like people. I like being with people, doing things with people, talking with people, and sharing real life with people. When I'm spending hours on homework, people have to get skipped. You want to do something with me? Well, I have an opening between 4:37 and 4:52. Would that work for you? No? Ok, how about three weeks from next Tuesday at 12:57? Oh, you have class then? Well, you'll have to go on my waiting list. If a Marketing Plan cancels, I'll let you know. That's basically been my whole semester. As frustrating as it has been, I've learned from it. Not necessarily applied what I've learned, but I have learned. A family friend who works for Campus Crusade in Florida says it well in one of his blog posts: "Everybody has 168 hours each week... The schedule is in your hands. How will you use yo
2 comments
Read more

My Wise Advice

As I'm approaching my quarter-century-versary, I've been thinking about what wisdom I have to offer to the young whippersnappers. I don't have much. But there are a few things I've learned (the hard way is most often my learning style...). Don't make the mistake of thinking someday you'll "arrive" in your faith and have it all together. Stay teachable to the best of your ability. If you feel too confident in what you know about God, the Bible,etc., take a step back and remember how awesomely huge God is. Don't be like the pharisees and assume because you're a generally good person that you've got it figured out. God will make sure something happens that reminds you of that, and it probably won't be a good time. Make life a great big learning experience. Any time you have the opportunity to watch someone do something or try a new thing, take it. Watch the piano tuner. Hold the flashlight for the plumber. Pump the brake pedal for th
1 comment
Read more